School!!!

So I know it's been a while since I've been on. Been going thru some things that have made times a bit hard. But life goes on.....So..
Serenity started school this week. 1st day of kindergarten!!! So exciting.....She's been in Pre-K for 3 years and finally got to move on.....even tho it was only because of her age. On Aug. 5th we went to Open House. We met her teacher, the principle, the nurse, and the cafeteria manager....And of course, everyone loved her! When we visited her classroom, she gave herself a tour, as usual. I spoke with the teacher for a bit, just given her a few tips about my peanut. When it was time to leave, someone threw a fit!!! She did not want to go.
On Mon. Aug 8th, I woke her up to get her ready. She was not happy. She screamed and cried. We took a few pictures and headed to school. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, she realized where we were and her excitement kicked in. I held back the tears when they took her inside.
Finally, time to pick her up. I get to the school and after waiting in line for like an hour, I finally get my baby back. It's funny, even the principle was telling me how good she was....like he would've really known. I was told by her teachers aide that she did do pretty well except she did cry.....a lot. That made me feel bad. She's been home with me everyday for almost a month. I think she missed me.
Today she woke up in a great mood. She even let me put her hair in pigtails.....Sidenote: she hates when anyone does her hair!! When we got to school, she was trying to get herself out of her carseat. Too cute! And when I picked her up I was told she didn't cry as much. This time, she only cried when they changed tasks. Serenity doesn't like change and if she's happy doing something, I personally recommend letting her continue. Her neurologist even said "if she starts headbutting or throwing a fit, find out what it was she was doing just before the fit started, and let her go back to it" But you can't really tell a teacher that. They have a job to do.
We went tonight and had dinner at my sister's house. Cutest thing ever-Serenity actually waved "bye-bye" as we were leaving!!!
I'm seeing progress and progress is good!!!!

6/29-7/04

So, what can I remember.....Been busy with work so I haven't been able to blog. Don't remember to much from last week other than Serenity being a piggy for food. She's definitely been eating more. Saturday, she kept coming out of her room, scooting to the kitchen, and either reaching toward the fridge(for milk) or towards the cabinet(for food). I love how she's doing these little things to be able to tell me what she wants, but every 5 mins!!!!! Like she eats a whole bowl of food and drinks an entire cup, goes to play for 5 mins, comes back to the kitchen and hints for more. She ate so much this weekend I would figure she gained 20 pounds. lol. Other than her wanting to eat all weekend, she was fussy also. Neither of us liked being couped up in the house all weekend, but my car is broke down and I've been sick since Friday night. Sucks.
She got up at like 3 am on Saturday morning. Or was it Sunday? Yeah, being sick has totally thrown off my days. I remember waking up at like 2 am on Monday morning to Serenity being in my room in front of my t.v. I don't know how she got in my room. But I picked her up and put her in bed with me. And woke up at 7am to a nice big wet spot. Thanks Peanut!

So, I have a cute video of Serenity making an escape. She has this thing lately where she scoots into her room and partially closes the door. Then, when she's ready to come out, all I see is her hand coming out of the opening. She reaches out and tries to pull the door open. She gets it open far enough to peer out. Its funny and creepy.

6/27-6/28

Yeah so I didn't get a chance to get on here yesterday. So, gotta do a little catching up. Monday, after work, I picked Serenity up. She was in a very good mood, until we got home. She screamed, cried, and headbutted for a good hour after we got home. She apparently was hungry. Cuz it all stopped as soon as she heard the food processor. As soon as she heard it, she started laughing and scooted into the kitchen. She got right behind me, grabbed my leg, and tried to pull herself up. Silly girl. A friend of mine was over and was quite shocked to see just how much Serenity eats. A whole bratwurst and 2 scoops(and I'm talking like the big spoon you use when cooking or serving food. Not a tsp. or tbsp) of macaroni salad. And she ate every last drop! Then decided she was full and ready for bed.
Yesterday was the same as far as coming home. Only difference is dinner didn't take as long. She ate an entire bowl of cheeseburger macaroni(homemade) and almost an entire cup of milk. After all that, she still wanted more. I would've given her more except that her tummy felt extremely hard and since her Dr's told me that if her tummy is hard, it's full, I didn't want to risk giving her a tummy ache. She instead, we watched IGOR. Cute movie btw. She likes it. She curled up on her pillow and went to sleep.
So I think I need to start getting more pics of her for my blog. I so used to just putting the pics on fb then deleting them off my phone.

6/24-6/26

What a weekend. Serenity was in a good mood when I picked her up on Friday. And we had her God brother for the night. She is definitely not a jealous girl when mama is paying attention to her God brother. Although, she wanted his bottle. Lol. Saturday she pretty much scooted around and watched movies. She didn't really eat much though. Sunday she was a bit fussy. Both Saturday and Sunday all she wanted to do was drink milk. But Sunday she was actually crying about it. She ate good that morning. Then we spent a few hours with my mom. After we got home I laid her down for a nap. That lasted about 20 mins. lol. She watched a little t.v. Then decided she wanted milk.....again. I tried giving her water and juice but she was not having that.
I made dinner around 5:30. She ate only a tiny bit. Then she decided she wanted to play. After a while, I laid her down for bed. But, me being me, I decided to go lay down with her while I was on the phone. She was still up anyway. She scooted over towards me and started patting my tummy and laughing. Then she pulled my shirt up so she could see my tummy. And she was trying to tickle mommy. Too cute. Even though it was more like she was clawing away at me, I stilled laughed and acted like it tickled. She enjoyed it. And I let her go to bed.
At around 10-10:30 the fire alarm started going off. I freaked. I'm walking around my apartment trying to figure out if something had caught fire. I didn't realize I wasn't the only one whose alarm was going off. I walked outside to see pretty much everyone in the building is outside. Everyone's asking questions. I swear that's the first time I've seen more than half of my neighbors. A cop was walking around asking if anyone knew what was going on. No one knew anything. The was no smoke, no flames, nothing. I kept going inside to check on Serenity. Finally the fire dept. showed up, like 20 mins later, and shut the alarm off. Everyone returned to their apt. Apparently, someone thought it would be funny to pull the fire alarm switch in the other hall of my building. No one knows who did it. But apparently it was a prank. Sad that someone would do that. Put people at risk like that. The one funny thing/upside to the night.......Serenity slept through the whole thing.

What A Night/Morning

She's always happy to see me when I get home, but last night she wasn't happy to actually go home. She started fussing as soon as we went inside. She actually turned down her sippy. She refused to eat dinner too. I guess she was just having one of those days. All she wanted was to cry. I've had days like that too. No matter what I tried, she wasn't having it. She ended up crying herself to sleep. I hate days where she's like that. I wish she could talk and tell me whats wrong. All I can do is try to guess and offer her everything. But when she turns everything down, I'm at a loss.
She woke up this morning headbutting her headboard. We were doing so good, at least I thought so. She hadn't done any headbutting in bed since the move until this morning. She must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The only time I heard a laugh from her this morning was when she was sitting on the couch. She was fussing cuz I walked away to get her a shirt. When I came back to the living room, she had grabbed the blankie(a crochet blanket that I spent most of my pregnancy making for her), and started reaching towards me as tho she was trying to hand it to me. Before I could get to the blankie, she let it go and it slid off the couch. 1st laugh of the day! She cracked up over the blankie falling off the couch. But it wasn't time to play. We had to go.
When I dropped her off, she was not a happy girl.....She cried all the way to my car, all the way to the bestie's house, all the way to the door, and even as she went inside. I could still hear her as I walked back to my car....Yes my daughter has a set of lungs on her. She used to be so quiet when she cried....Hopefully her day gets better.

Crazy Girl

My daughter is the highlight of my every day. When I picked her up yesterday, she seemed so excited to see me. She was scooting around and laughing. Then she started reaching for the fridge. She wanted her sippy.
I held off on giving it to her while at the bestie's house. But I brought her into the room with me while the bestie was changing my God son. Serenity looked over at him and just started laughing and waving. She loves being around him. At least I know if I do have another child, she won't be jealous as long at she can play with him/her. When we got home, I gave her her sippy. She drank a bit, ate a little dinner, then it was bath time. She loves bath time! She used to hate water but now, she never wants to get out. She sat quietly while I filled the tub for her. I put her in and she immediately started playing with the cup, wash cloth, and the bubbles. She started swaying back and forth making the water move. Then she started splashing the water out of the tub. I let her stay in and play til the water started to cool. When I got her out, I wrapped her in her towel and we sat and watched the water drain. The whole time she was smiling, laughing, and making her little squealing sound. Then she was off to bed. She slept peacefully last night!! YAY!!
This morning, when I got her up, her hair was crazy! It's so long and she hates when I try to put it up. She's never really liked having anyone or anything touch her head. I think that's because of all the EEG's when she was younger. For those who don't know, an EEG is where they attach like 100 wires(or leads as the Dr's call it) to your head with this sticky stuff. Then after they get them all attached, they wrap your head. The first few times they did it with her sedated so she wouldn't move or pull the leads of. The last time, about 3-4 years ago, they did it with her awake. They needed to see if her "stiffening when excited" was a seizure. She hated that. And thankfully, there was no seizure activity! F.Y.I. that "sticky stuff" is a pain to get out of hair. It took at least of week of shampooing twice a day to get it all out......

Last nite.....

So, after getting home last night, Serenity drank a whole sippy cup of chocolate milk and ate some spaghetti (her fav). I let her play for a bit. She started getting fussy and rubbing her eyes so I went ahead and put her to bed. She fell asleep quickly. It didn't last long though. I dont know if she was having night terrors, a tummy ache, or what was wrong. I don't think it was night terrors cuz she wasn't screaming. Just a little crying. She would cry for about 5 to 10 mins and fall back asleep. What was so bad, she was waking up every 30-45 mins. I would check on her and she would just look at me while crying. Kinda hard to deal with. When I reached for her she would turn away, indicating that she didn't want to be cuddled. I offered her drinks(milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, water). She turned away. I offered her a snack, maybe she was still hungry. She turned that away also. I wondered if maybe she just had gas.
When I got her up this morning she was in a better mood. The only thing I noticed that I didn't like was that somehow she managed to get her diaper off. I don't know how but she did. Guess she wanted to try to be a big girl last night. Her bed wasn't wet or anything but I'm still gonna wash everything just to make sure. And I'm thinking I need to take her to see either her pediatrician, her orthopedic surgeon, or the people that made her leg braces....

Weekend 6/18-6/20

So this weekend was interesting. Serenity is back to eating her normal food amounts and constantly wanting to drink her chocolate milk. We spent Saturday at the bestie's house so I could do my laundry. Serenity played with the kids and the baby. She is so cute with her god brother. She loves playing with him. Then we had a few of her cousins over for the night. That was quite interesting. 4 kids. Age range 2-10(i think) lol...
I woke up Sunday morning to a very weird sound. It scared me. I could hear someone in the living room. I jumped outta bed and peeked out my door, only to discover Serenity in front of the TV pulling stuff out of the drawer of the TV stand. Little brat somehow got off her bed without making a sound and scooted into the living room. It's bad cuz her bed is not that low to the ground and I sleep wit her bedroom door and my bedroom door open so that I can hear her if she gets up. But I didn't hear a "thud" so I don't know how she got on the floor....I think I should set up a video camera in her room. I think she walks when no-one is around. I've dreamt about it a lot and she is very sneaky....I love her!

And Now...

So, we moved back to Florida. We stayed with my sister for a while. Got Serenity back in school. The schools down here are full-time, which is awesome! I appreciate how much my sister and nieces sacrificed for Serenity and me. See, Serenity is very weird when it comes to sleeping. She prefers to be alone in the room and she likes darkness. Which was kinda hard since we had her in my younger nieces bedroom. It was especially hard when she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and headbutting the walls. Everyone lost out on sleep time. But, she loves being closer to her cousins, and her favorite aunt. BTW just to show how much she loves her aunt, when she 1st came home from the hospital, my sis was in town, and, u can even ask her, whenever she was around, Serenity would eat only for her! I don't know why, but she would choose her aunt, my sister, over me.....I think she still does sometimes lol.

For the longest time, Serenity was unlike most children. She didn't get upset when I would walk out of the room, or had to run out and she had to stay home. It wasn't until she was 4 almost 5 when she started flipping out when she couldn't see me. Now if she sees me grab my purse, phone, or keys, she starts scooting after me, reaching for me, and crying. I could just be getting something from my purse and she thinks I'm going somewhere.

We ended up moving to Cape Coral. First we moved in with a friend who is a live-in caregiver. The person she cared for was a 30ish female with Cerebral Palsy. We all thought it would be good for all of us for Serenity and me to move in. The girl with C.P. loved having Serenity around. And she would let me know what/why Serenity's actions were/meant. That was extremely helpful. She and Serenity would play together. See, the girl, her C.P was a lot worse than Serenity's. She was in a wheelchair. She could talk but it was hard to understand. She could not sit on her own and had very little control of her body. So when she and Serenity played, she was usually laying in her bed or on the floor. Serenity would pat her tummy and "tickle" her tummy. It was quite funny to watch. They would both just laugh and anyone who was there couldn't help but join in the laughter. It made my heart melt. But that didn't last too long. We had to move out.

So, I got a place not too far away. I didn't want to have to change Serenity's school again. And we both liked this school. My bestie and her kids moved in with us. Which was cool cuz Serenity would always be around other kids. Eventually I had to put her in an after-school daycare. I thought there would be some issues since she doesn't do well with change, but she did very well. All the kids at daycare would ask "why doesn't she walk" "why doesn't she talk" they're kids so it's understandable that they're curious. But they loved her anyway. They would build towers with blocks so Serenity could knock them down. One little boy would bring his PSP and sit at a table with Serenity and he would try to teach her to play. One little boy came up to me and said "when I saw Serenity, I just had to tell someone that she is beautiful" This kid was like 6 yrs old. And he just kept telling everyone how beautiful Serenity is.

Just a few months back, I got a call from her school. "Serenity took 3 steps with no support" I cried lol. Then, last month I believe, I saw her crawl for the 1st time. I was picking her up from daycare. She crawled to me. All the daycare teachers were shocked cuz they had never seen her crawl. I told them I was just as shocked since it was her 1st time. Then I found out from her school teacher that she had been crawling for a while at school. They had been working on it. The last week of school I got a call from her teacher. "Serenity took 5 unassisted steps today. Then realized she wasn't being held and dropped to the floor" Like she actually stopped walking, looked around and noticed no-one was holding her, and sat down. lol She cracks me up.

So after school got out, we moved out of Cape Coral into Fort Myers. That was a week ago today. She is still adjusting. She won't really eat. She does that when there's changes. She usually wont eat, drink, or sleep well. But she's been good on the sleeping. We had to bribe her with chocolate milk and chocolate pediasure to get her drinking. She'll only take 2-3 small bites of food rite now. Sucks but at least the pediasure is giving her what she needs. Last night she finally ate about half a normal serving of spaghetti(she loves pasta) So that's a good sign. My bestie watches her so I can work. So she spends everyday with a 3 yr old, a 2 yr old, and (my godson/her god brother), a 1 month old.

So I think we are now up-to-date. It'll probably Monday before I write another post. But that post will be about our entire weekend lol. I know I've left a lot out. It's hard to sum up the last 5 years. If I had wrote everything, I'd still be on year 2. Any questions? At this point I've been asked just about everything by someone. I take no offense to questions. I welcome them with an open mind. I know people are curious. So feel free to ask. Feel free to share my blog. Feel free to comment and follow!! <3 to everyone

Just a little bit about what Serenity does/doesn't do, thats not "normal"

She scoots. She headbutts-any and everything-when she's upset, bored, or just when she feels like it. She has actually put a hole in a wall from hitting it so hard. She rocks herself. She hits her chin with the back of her hand. She drools-a lot! She loves bouncing and jumping-but someone has to hold her, so yeah it's a good arm workout. She figured out how to bounce on her bed-and she bounces hard enough to almost get on her feet.(she bounces from a sitting position) She can't feed herself or hold her sippy. She doesn't walk but we have faith that she will. She recently started crawling but she doesn't do it much. She doesn't talk.

Some of you may think "omg!! why do you let her do those things?", "you need to talk to her Dr about that" "She shouldn't be doing that!" "that's not "normal" " etc... I've heard it all. My daughter sees a pediatrician(she's had 5 that she's seen in 5 years), a neurologist(3 that she's seen in her 5 years), a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and soon, a speech therapist. I HAVE discussed with every one of them and they have all said the same...."It's normal....for her" She has Cerebral Palsy! She's not gonna be "NORMAL" in some people's terms. But, in my terms, SHE'S PERFECT! I just wish she had less of her dad's attitude and mood swings....hahaha

Year 3 and 4

So, we moved around quite a bit. Between Oklahoma and Florida. Most of my family is in Florida. Serenity's dad's family is in Oklahoma. Which makes it a little difficult. I love how her dads family wants to be a big part of her life, since he isn't, but my family wants to be in it also. So it's been tough trying to please everyone. So we were back in Oklahoma for most of Serenity's 3rd year and part of her 4th. She started Pre-K, but only part-time. So her paternal grandparents watched her while I worked.She loves her Nana and papa very much. Sometimes, when she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming, I would call them. 2,3,4 o'clock in the morning. It didn't matter. They would hear her and tell me to bring her over. I think she had me trained. I kid you not, she cried and screamed the whole 20 min drive, but as soon as I pulled into their drive, she'd laugh!! Like she knew if she cried enough, she'd end up with them. She got me every time! It irked me.
So, the school thing. I hated that it was only part-time. She loved being there. And everyone loved her. She got some therapy sessions in class. She started standing up when they would have her in one of the special chairs. So they had to start using the "lap-belt" so she wouldn't fall when she'd stand. I remember her 1st day back at school in the fall of 09. As soon as we went into the classroom, she scooted straight for the toys. She remembered where everything was. Oh, and before I forget, the scooting....She taught herself that during the summer, when she was 3. She gets around by scooting on her butt. Cutest thing ever!! I sent a video to some of my family when she 1st started scooting. I got a call from my sister informing me that her youngest daughter said, "You should put a sponge on her butt so she can mop your floor." I laughed so hard it hurt! The things kids say.....So yeah, her teacher was shocked to see the scooting. But it just meant that maybe we were getting that much closer to the next milestone....crawling/walking.
For New Years, I decided we would take a trip to Florida to surprise my family. We made it on New Years Eve, just a few hours before midnight. We stayed for the weekend. I wanted to make sure I saw as much of my friends and family as possible in the short time we were here. Finally, it was time to go back to Oklahoma. The hardest thing I had to do in a while.
This is to fully explain why I moved back to Florida. The day we were leaving to go back to Oklahoma, Serenity threw a fit!!! And that's an understatement. As we were giving my sister and her oldest daughter hugs and saying our goodbye's, Serenity grabbed ahold of her cousin and did not want to let go. I've never seen her act like that before. My sister would take her from her daughter and hand her back to me. Serenity would scream and reach for her cousin. It was breaking us all. We all tried to stay strong and hold back our tears. But Serenity's reaction to us leaving my family only made it harder to go. I loaded her into the car and we started driving. She's still screaming and crying. She's headbutting the carseat. I was holding back my tears. I stopped at a store to get her her favorite drink, chocolate milk. She stopped crying only long enough to drink it all. She pretty much cried and slept the entire ride home.
When we made it back, I felt a piece of my heart missing. And I knew Serenity felt the same. She was acting differently since we left Florida. I knew what I had to do to make her happy. I packed up everything I could, and only told her grandparents and a few select people, that we were going back to Florida.

First Year....or 2

So the 1st year was pretty hard. Not even a week after Serenity's birth, my brother-in-law passed away. I consider him to be her guardian angel. She started getting better after his death, and made it home the day before his funeral. We miss him.......
As, I stated in my previous post, Serenity was on phenobarbital. It was like she was lifeless. I wanted so much for her to do what other babies were doing. I had put her in daycare so I could work. That didn't last...I was constantly getting calls at work because she wouldn't eat or drink. She would just sleep, or scream. She was so tiny, and still is. She didn't reach 11 lbs til I believe she was 6 or 7 months. Which most babies reach that weight around 1-2 months. So many Dr. appts. Neurologists, pediatricians, blood specialists(trying to figure out if she had a clotting disorder since she was "born" with a blood clot on her head) EEG's, MRI's, and the list goes on. After removing her from the phenobarb. I noticed drastic changes. She smiled and laughed more. She ate a little more. Little things that some people may not have noticed, but they where huge milestones for me. The 1st time she rolled over she was about 8 months. I was so happy. And eventually, she just kept rolling....That was how she got around. But it didn't help that she only rolled to the right. So when she rolled herself into something, mommy had to rescue her. Her therapist and I had been working together to try to get her sitting on her own. Her therapist came every other week and we worked a lot on sitting up and grasping objects. Which brings me to talk about her grasping of objects. She would kinda reach for things when she was laying on the floor but she would always miss. So, enter the Optometrist. On Feb. 13, 2007, Serenity had her 1st surgery. Strabismus surgery on both eyes(outside corners) to correct her eyes. Both of her eyes had issues with looking in opposite directions. Sometimes she would be cross eyed and other times, her eyes would "look away" from each other....i cant think of the right wording. When she was 3 she had a 2nd surgery on her right eye but this time on the inside corner. Crazy stuff. And very hard for me to handle. Even with the support of my family.
The 1st time Serenity sat with no support was around her 1st birthday. I had her propped up against a pillow. Slowly I started removing the pillow from behind her. I got pics of her sitting with the pillow removed!! I was so excited. Shortly after she was sitting without support, she started sitting herself up. This is funny!! Most children push themselves into a sitting position. Serenity would be laying on her back, put her legs in the air, tighten her tummy muscles, and basically do a "sit-up" I'm sure u get the picture. Cutest thing to watch tho.
I think one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, other than all the Dr visits, is her nightmares, or night terrors, as 1 Dr told me. She has always, and still to this day, wakes up randomly(random times, random nights), screaming like someone is hurting her. It kills me to her the crying and screaming. It makes it harder when her DR. told me that since it's a "night terror" the worst thing for me to do is run into the room and try to comfort her. With the night terror, even tho she's sreaming and seems awake, she's still in the dream. So she doesn't see mommy running in, she see's a shadowy figure coming for her. It's like, as if she's still sleeping. I'm still battling with the night terrors. But it's not an every night thing anymore. Sometimes, it's a few nights a week, sometimes, a few nights a month. So there is a little progress......
I do apologize for the randomness and unorganizationalness(ummm idk if thats a word) of my postings. It's hard to type everything and there are so many details.

Starting Out

 So, I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Keesha. I'm a 26 year old single mother to a child with Cerebral Palsy. Being a single mother is hard enough. Add a disabled child to the mix and it's a never-ending challenge. My daughter, Serenity, is 5 years old. She is currently out of school for the summer. A friend of mine, my best friend to be exact, watches her so that I can be a responsible parent and work to provide for her. So let's take a trip back to the beginning.....


Look at her head. You can see the bruise.



I got pregnant around Thanksgiving 2004. Everything throughout my pregnancy was normal. No unexpected hospital visits, other than for tonsillitis. My due date was set for August 21, 2005. I did go into labor on my due date. At about 8:30-9 in the morning I was having slight cramping. I contacted the birthing center. They told me it was most likely early labor signs and to take something for the cramping(Tylenol) and a warm bath. Well, the bath did the trick. My water broke in the tub! My daughter's Godmother rushed me to the birthing center. Upon arrival, I told a nurse I thought my water broke. She asked how I knew....Seriously!?!?! I took a couple steps away from the counter, removed the towel I had wrapped myself in, and said, "Either my water broke, or I can't stop peeing on myself!!!" Exact words. The nurse peered over the counter and saw my pants were completely soaked and I was then rushed into a private room. Long story short. There was muconium in the fluid, I was in labor for 15hrs and 14 mins, the baby's(gender unknown at time) heart rate was never stable(which I was NOT informed about. Was told everything was fine and labor was going great), 2-yes 2- rounds of Potocin and 2 epidurals(1st epidural stopped my contractions hence the 2nd round of potocin),  my family was told if I didn't deliver by midnight there would be an emergency C-section done, about 10hrs(estimating time) a nurse came in to do an ultrasound only to discover baby's head was now swollen, and finally at 3:14am(note the time) I gave birth. Now that's 3hrs and 14 mins after the time that was given to my family as "C-section time." While pushing my daughter out, I was told to stop. The crown of her head was out and they made me stop...Seriously. Finally after the longest 5 mins of my life they had me continue. So not only was her head swollen, but now bruised. After she spent 11 days in NICU for seizures, strokes, and a blood clot where the bruising was, I finally got to bring my baby home. I've always known something was wrong. She was tiny for a full-term baby. She didn't do much but sleep. I had to wake her to eat. I asked questions and always got nothing. Finally, at 1.5 years old, a new neurologist informed me that she had Cerebral Palsy. And that neurologist was shocked to discover that NO-ONE had informed me. None of the medical records requested but her pediatrician showed it. None of the records requested by the therapist showed it. It's like they tried to hide it...I took action. Finally, I removed her from her seizure medication. I did it slowly to ween her off. I hope I spelled that right. The meds they had her on(phenobarbital) made her seem lifeless. And, since she hadn't been having seizures I decided, why not. She started smiling, laughing, reaching, all the things most do as early as a few weeks, she finally started doing at 3-4 months.

So, I've finally decided to start a blog about the things I've gone thru so far. This is just the beginning of my long unfinished story. I apologize if my first few posts seem long and unorganized. I am trying to catch up on the last 5 years of what I've gone thru. Some of you may not care, some may think I'm doing this for my "15mins" I'm honestly just doing this cuz writing helps me. And I figure, maybe somewhere out there is another parent going thru this too. Maybe a single parent, like me, or a couple, and they can see that they are not the only ones.