Wednesday, June 15, 2011

First Year....or 2

So the 1st year was pretty hard. Not even a week after Serenity's birth, my brother-in-law passed away. I consider him to be her guardian angel. She started getting better after his death, and made it home the day before his funeral. We miss him.......
As, I stated in my previous post, Serenity was on phenobarbital. It was like she was lifeless. I wanted so much for her to do what other babies were doing. I had put her in daycare so I could work. That didn't last...I was constantly getting calls at work because she wouldn't eat or drink. She would just sleep, or scream. She was so tiny, and still is. She didn't reach 11 lbs til I believe she was 6 or 7 months. Which most babies reach that weight around 1-2 months. So many Dr. appts. Neurologists, pediatricians, blood specialists(trying to figure out if she had a clotting disorder since she was "born" with a blood clot on her head) EEG's, MRI's, and the list goes on. After removing her from the phenobarb. I noticed drastic changes. She smiled and laughed more. She ate a little more. Little things that some people may not have noticed, but they where huge milestones for me. The 1st time she rolled over she was about 8 months. I was so happy. And eventually, she just kept rolling....That was how she got around. But it didn't help that she only rolled to the right. So when she rolled herself into something, mommy had to rescue her. Her therapist and I had been working together to try to get her sitting on her own. Her therapist came every other week and we worked a lot on sitting up and grasping objects. Which brings me to talk about her grasping of objects. She would kinda reach for things when she was laying on the floor but she would always miss. So, enter the Optometrist. On Feb. 13, 2007, Serenity had her 1st surgery. Strabismus surgery on both eyes(outside corners) to correct her eyes. Both of her eyes had issues with looking in opposite directions. Sometimes she would be cross eyed and other times, her eyes would "look away" from each other....i cant think of the right wording. When she was 3 she had a 2nd surgery on her right eye but this time on the inside corner. Crazy stuff. And very hard for me to handle. Even with the support of my family.
The 1st time Serenity sat with no support was around her 1st birthday. I had her propped up against a pillow. Slowly I started removing the pillow from behind her. I got pics of her sitting with the pillow removed!! I was so excited. Shortly after she was sitting without support, she started sitting herself up. This is funny!! Most children push themselves into a sitting position. Serenity would be laying on her back, put her legs in the air, tighten her tummy muscles, and basically do a "sit-up" I'm sure u get the picture. Cutest thing to watch tho.
I think one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, other than all the Dr visits, is her nightmares, or night terrors, as 1 Dr told me. She has always, and still to this day, wakes up randomly(random times, random nights), screaming like someone is hurting her. It kills me to her the crying and screaming. It makes it harder when her DR. told me that since it's a "night terror" the worst thing for me to do is run into the room and try to comfort her. With the night terror, even tho she's sreaming and seems awake, she's still in the dream. So she doesn't see mommy running in, she see's a shadowy figure coming for her. It's like, as if she's still sleeping. I'm still battling with the night terrors. But it's not an every night thing anymore. Sometimes, it's a few nights a week, sometimes, a few nights a month. So there is a little progress......
I do apologize for the randomness and unorganizationalness(ummm idk if thats a word) of my postings. It's hard to type everything and there are so many details.

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